What If I Ripped Your Heart Apart?
by youngraven
Summary: Max is still trying to save the world; the only problem is that the Flock isn't complete and Max can't cope without her right hand man. In his last letter he told her not to come looking for him so Max accepts his wishes. But then, the bomb explodes...


First of all a massive, big thank you to my beta JFW1415 – who I fully recommended to anyone looking for a beta. She got my story up to scratch. So thank you again.

Disclaimer: I own none of the original Maximum Ride characters – they belong to James Patterson. I also don't own the lyrics on Fang's blog

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Chapter 1

Max POV

I sat staring at the computer screen, something I'd sworn not to do twice before.

I couldn't help it; Fang's blog intrigued me. He had such a unique way of viewing the world. In his blog he was himself. He let his thoughts run loose the way he never had with me.

I clicked onto his latest entry, waiting until the hotel's Internet connection decided to bless me with a result, and began reading.

**20th June**

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world,

But your indecisive mind shows me that you're "just another girl."

I had the feeling those looks you gave me were real.

What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams?

Maybe then you'd know how I feel.

I cocked my head to the right, unsure how to take what I'd just read. Emotions flew around my head; but the one that seemed to linger longer than necessary was guilt. Fang was hurting, and whether it was my fault or not, I felt responsible. I extended my hand out towards the computer so I could twist my finger around the laptops charger wire whilst I was thinking. I was responsible for my Flock and, as the leader, I should be able to notice when something was wrong with one of them. Especially when that Flock member happened to be my best friend.

Again I read through what Fang had written, pausing to overanalyse every word on the first line. 'Forget the world…' I could understand why Fang wanted to forget the world; I often wished that I could do just that. A particular conversation came back to me as I remembered Fang suggesting that we should ditch saving the world and settle down somewhere. My finger stopped twirling the wire and I stared, now absorbed, at the words on the second line. 'Indecisive mind.' Could Fang possibly be referring to me in his blog? I thought back to that moment on the beach where I'd kissed him; and then, when he'd kissed me, how I'd flew off. You couldn't really get anymore indecisive than that.

My guilt evaporated and was replaced by anger. I never felt guilty, and I was surprised at how much weakness that came with it; I hated feeling weak. The anger flowed to every part of my body, causing me to clench my fists. Why had he written this? I stood up and, to distract myself from breaking something, I focused on identifying shapes in the patterned wallpaper.

Needless to say this focus soon faded and my thoughts, again, drifted back to Fang. I cared for Fang, I really did, but I wasn't sure that I felt anymore than that. Fang was my right hand man, my best friend, but nothing more.

**Keep telling yourself that Max. You might actually convince yourself of it one of these days.**

"I didn't ask for your opinion." I snapped in response to the Voice's unwelcome interruption.

"That's good, because I didn't give it."

I jumped at the sound of his voice despite its familiarity. I turned round to see Fang, arms crossed, leaning against the wall.

"I thought we'd been through this," I snapped "You know I don't like you sneaking up on me."

He frowned. "I hardly snuck up on you, Max. I walked in because I thought I should tell you the kids are hungry. I told them to wait in the foyer."

"Thank you," I said frostily, turning off the laptop with the power button.

"You shouldn't turn it off like that you know." He sighed at my apparent bad mood. "It could crash the whole system."

"It's a freakin' computer, Fang," I said.

I stood up, contemplating where we should go and eat. Somehow I didn't think this cheap hotel we were staying in would have enough stock to feed us all. Go to a restaurant, or to a Mickey D's?

**That's it, Max; attempt to get Fang off your mind.**

I scowled and shoved the laptop under the bed closest to me.

"What's up with you?" Fang asked.

"What do you mean?" I said, deciding to fake ignorance.

"Nothing, I was just wondering why a. you were talking to yourself, b. you're treating the laptop like it's just morphed into an eraser." He paused. "And c. you feel the need to snap my head off every time I say something."

"I wasn't talking to myself," I answered, struggling to keep my voice civil. "The Voice was on my case again. You know I have my suspicions about that laptop, and I'm not snapping at you now am I?"

"I guess you aren't." Fang shrugged, then walked out of the room leaving me standing alone in the room.

I switched the light off before following him into the hallway.

"What did the Voice want?" Fang asked whilst we were making our way to the stairs.

"Going on about my destiny again, the same as always." I lied

Yes, I know. Lying is bad.

I tried to relax as we walked down the stairs, but it was a luxury I wasn't used to. Even though it had been a year since my battle with Omega, and, we hadn't been captured by the School again, I still couldn't bring myself to let my guard down.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt my neck hairs prickle, still walking down the stairs I looked round to see Fang staring at me. I turned my head away almost as soon as our eyes made contact. He could read a scary amount from just one expression on my face, and I didn't really want him to know what was on my mind.

Once we entered the foyer I saw the Flock waiting on the only two sofas in the room. Their faces lit up as we walked in.

"Max!" Gazzy exclaimed whilst bouncing up and down on the sofa. "We can go eat now, right?"

"Sure thing," I answered, holding up the credit card. "So guys; where to?"

"I want to go to that restaurant we saw round the corner; you know, the one that had the big chandelier in the reception area?" said Nudge.

"A place that has enough money to buy a chandelier is bound to have a 'no dogs allowed' sign." Total said, frowning. "Why is it that anywhere with the least bit of class bars dogs? Do I look like a common mongrel to you?"

"Come on, guys; from how you described it to me this place is a dump, so the chandelier is probably plastic," added Iggy, whose eyebrows were creased. To a passer by he would look vaguely bored.

I knew better though; Iggy creased his eyebrows when he was trying to get his bearings in new surroundings. The bored look was just a façade, designed to detract the attention away from what he was trying to do. A façade he held remarkably well.

"I'm sick of eating fast food," Angel added, clutching Celeste. "Can't we find somewhere nice to eat, Max?"

I turned to Fang to see if he had any ideas, but he seemed to be in a world of his own, staring at the ceiling.

"Okay guys, seeing as we don't have any better suggestions, how about we walk down to this restaurant Nudge is on about? If we don't like the look of it we'll go and find somewhere else," I said, reaching a decision.

After a general shout of agreements we made our way out of the hotel. The kids seemed to be amusing themselves with talking, which gave me time to think. I really didn't know what to do about Fang. I mean, I'm not the type of person that remains silent if something really peeves me off, but if I talk to him then he'll know that I've been keeping track of his blog.

**So what are you going to chose, Max? Your pride or your best friend?**

_Getting a bit ahead of yourself there, Voice. What makes you think that I'll lose Fang just because I don't tell him everything that goes on inside my head?_

**You can't keep bottling up your emotions like this. Sooner or later they'll all come out, and then it'll be a hundred times worse than if you'd have just told Fang how you honestly felt at the right time.**

I sighed and started listening to the Flock's conversation again.

"I think we should go back to Europe," said Angel whilst jumping over the cracks between each paving slab. "I liked it there. What do you think, Max?"

"I'm not sure, honey. We have no leads yet," I answered.

"Well, maybe we should go and look for leads in Europe," said Iggy, his hand placed lightly on Gazzy's shoulder. "I mean it's not as if we have anywhere better to go."

"Let's just take our time making decisions. We have plenty of time to plan our next move. For now, let's just eat," I said, pointing to the restaurant that seemed to have materialised before us.

**Plenty of time? Max, you have anything but time. All the while the Earth is dying, and you're the only one who can stop it.**

_Again, thanks for your help. Until you can offer any useful suggestions we stick to my plan, which is following our noses and taking each day as it comes._

**Following your instincts is good, Max. **

I knew what they told me about Fang, and I scowled just thinking about it. I didn't care what they said; there was no way I was letting him know how much his blog had got to me.

Bad decision, Max.

The voice's contribution just made me sure that I was doing the right thing.

I was, wasn't I?

...

Well tell me what you thought about it please. Reviews are always nice to get : )

youngraven


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